The 5 Minute Thoughts Reset: Controlled Setting
For years I have struggled with emotional eating. It was a way I coped with a lot of...well lets just say...STUFF. It was away to check out from my reality, to cope with painful things that were happening in my word, and distract myself from what I was feeling.
It's a behavior I learned and that I practiced for many years. I got really amazing at using food as my coping mechanism. So when I started trying to change those beliefs and behaviors it was no easy task to undertake. My brain literally FREAKED on me.
And in all truthfulness I can't sit here and write that I have it under control. I can't tell you I'm completely on the other side and have found my "food freedom". But I can say that each day I put into play some more strategies that I have either heard from mentors of mine or that I have come up with on my own as a way to help retrain my brain and learn new truths and belief systems.
Most of emotion eating stems from an Urge. An urge feels like an uncontrollable desire. Our brain literally gets hijacked and every fiber in our body is screaming "I WANT THAT NOW" "I NEED THAT NOW". This urge is your inner toddler. You know that one that throws an absolute fit on the floor in the middle of the grocery store because they saw the cookie, the toy, the...well you fill in the blank. That is what an urge is.
Now what I have realized is that if I can wait about 5 minutes and allow my "thinking brain" to catch up with the toddler throwing a fit because "IT NEEDS IT NOW" I can usually move through the urge without doing too much damage. If I allow myself enough time to sit in that uncomfortableness and mindfully think through a few things, I can move through the urge and come out on the other side.
Now before I walk you through each of these steps; I want to make a suggestion. It is what I have my clients do that I work with in a 1-1 setting. Use these 5 minutes (steps) and walk through them when you are not in an uncontrollable urge. Go through them when you feel like you are mindfully eating with out any sense of an urge. When you can work through them and get comfortable with them in a controlled setting, the easier it will be once you need to use them during an urge, binge or emotional eating episode.
Let me show you what this might look like in this controlled setting:
The first minute is about assessing if you are EVEN hungry. Most of the time an urge has nothing to do with hunger. And if you are not hungry...why are you even eating in the first place? Do you have signs of being hungry? Do you have hunger cues; stomach grumbling, emptiness, headache, have trouble concentrating. This is about slowing down long enough to allow your body to catch up with your mind. If you are not sure if you are hungry...you're not.
When first starting out using these cues; I will say them out loud to myself. I will answer each of these questions: Here is what they sound like in the controlled setting, outside of an urge or an emotional eating episode.
"Yes, I'm hungry. My stomach in growling. I can feel an emptiness in my stomach. It has been about 3 hours since my last meal. I'm not eating out of stress or as a way to cope with a current situation. I'm hungry."
The second minute is about asking yourself why do you want to eat. This second minute when you are eating because you are hungry is rather easy.
"I'm eating because I'm hungry." It is still purposeful to name it though. Especially if you are someone who struggles with emotional eating. Reminding yourself that food has a purpose and that is to fuel you. When you are using food as fuel then that is when you eat. When you are using food as comfort this is where we need to reassess, re-evaluate, and re-work your current thoughts.
Minute three is all about reminding yourself about your goals, what results you want to see, and what things you would like to accomplish. What is your reason for wanting to eat well, lose weight, be healthy? Why are you making sacrifices, trying to be mindful, attempting to change habits and patterns of behaviors that are no longer serving you?
Minute three also does not change regardless if you are eating in a controlled setting or eating during an emotional binge or giving into an urge. Your response to minute three will always be the same.
Remember your reason for wanting to get healthy does not need to be NOBLE it needs to be MOTIVATING to you! Don't tell yourself that you want to do this for your kids when you really just want to be able to get into a pair of pants that are sitting in your closet. Don't tell yourself that you don't care about the number on the scale when each morning you wake up and weigh yourself. Find something that makes you want to accomplish this.
"I desire to have food freedom. I want to be able to eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I no longer want to be controlled by food. I want to use food as a way to fuel my body, not to make myself emotional feel good for a few minutes"
Minute Four is where it gets real and you have to be REAL honest with yourself. This is also where you inner toddler is going to come kicking and screaming and pull out all the stop during an emotional binge. Most likely it will sounds something like..."I don't care, I'm going to have it anyway..."
But remember these 5 minutes is about you quieting the inner toddler, you sitting in the uncomfortableness for 5 minutes and regaining some mindfulness so you can truly decide if that urge or emotional eating binge is worth it.
Minute 4 sounds very different in a controlled setting than it does in a middle of an episode. But even in a controlled setting you still need to make sure that the actions you are taking will serve you, your goals and your results.
"I'm choosing clean food that fuel my body and move me closer to my results. By choosing these foods and in these portions I will be positively moving myself closer to my goals and getting the results I want."
Minute 5 is where you decide what actions you are going to take. Will you give into the urge or will you stay the course and take the necessary actions you need to in order to get the results that you want?
Minute 5 in a controlled setting will sounds something like...
"I'm choosing to stay mindful while eating these food that will fuel my body. I will stay present and listen to my hunger cues, I will stay aware as I eat and taste the food I am eating, when I feel full I will stop. Eating this food and in this way will help me to get the results I desire."
Try this for a few days in these controlled settings. Get use to becoming aware and making yourself stop and think about these questions. Slow yourself down long enough to answer them and engage in these questions. When you become comfortable enough with them try using them during an urge, or in a moment where you want to go elbow deep in that tub of ice cream. The more you practice them, the more familiar they become to you. You can change the way you respond to your urges and emotional binges; but you have to be willing to practice.
I'll be back later this week; to document how this 5 minutes thought reset looks like in the middle of an urge, emotional binge, or when you are using food as a way to escape your current reality.
If you need more help with using this 5 minute thought reset you can email me at neverstopneversettlefitness@gmail.com for a FREE 10 minute Thought Reset Session. In this session we will talk about how you can use these 5 minutes to reset your thoughts to start getting you the results that you desire.
