Control the Controllable

This morning was one of those mornings that everything just lines up how it is “suppose to” or should I say how I would like the morning to go.

Monday’s can be kind of crazy when we have MOPS every 2nd and 4th week. I always feel like I’m rushing to get everything together for the boys, for myself, and leaving the house in a way that I want to come back to. All while having 2 little boys who want breakfast, need snuggles, a diaper change, and clothes in order to get out the door. Don’t even get me started on the coats, boots, hats and mittens that eventually need to be put on them + a car that needs to be warmed (Thank you MN winters)...Oh did I include the dog getting fed and let out...You get it, we all have a list of to-dos that have us running around like crazy each morning.

I try my best to be prepared, think of things in advance and do them the night before. It is not a way to control the anxiousness I feel I know better now that my anxiety comes from my thoughts and not how prepared or unprepared I am. But when I'm prepared; my thoughts are better and therefore my feelings are better.

But this morning was different. My neighbor came over to workout and to my surprise the boys were still sleeping when she left, I took advantage and quick jumped in the shower; once again when I got out they were still sleeping. I started to get ready preparing myself for as soon as I turned the hair dryer on that they would be up and needing my attention and the hustle of the morning would start. Let’s just say I was a little shocked when I finished my makeup and hair and boys were just starting to wake and talk to one another.

The morning felt pleasant, I felt pleasant, I was thinking thoughts of being peace that I got to take care of myself this morning with a workout and shower. My feelings were peaceful and joyful.

I had it all planned out I was prepared; I was ready for the day. And then it hit me. I forgot to make a dish to share at breakfast for MOPS. And what seemed like an instant my peaceful, pleasant mood turned to a flood of thoughts:

“I can’t believe I was so unprepared”

“I am going to be late now”

“You should have remembered”

“People were counting on you and now you won’t be there on time”

And when you allow thoughts like these to come in and take over it is no wonder that I would feel anxious, upset with myself, and frustrated.

I’ve been doing this thought work long enough now that I can catch when these negative thoughts start to take over I have the mindfulness now after months of practice to take responsibility and realize that the thoughts that are causing the anxiety are mine. And because they are mine I can change them.

AND...As easily as I can think those negative thoughts that don’t serve me and so quickly bombard me. I can think:

“I just forgot.”

“I’m going to be late and that is okay.”

“Next time I need to set an alarm.”

“People are gracious and they will forgive me for being late.”

The circumstances that take place in our lives are not within our control. Anxiety comes when we try to control something that is out of our grasp of controlling. What I can control is the way I think about the circumstances of my life. I can control those thoughts that don’t serve me. No good is going to come from me beating myself up; all those thoughts do is leave me anxious, frustrated, and upset.

It’s time to learn how to be gracious with yourself. The way you do this is by making your thoughts gracious. So next time you are tempted to believe the lies; take a moment and find the truth and spend your time thinking that thought...Watch how it completely changes your feelings and mood and watch how those change your actions.